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She was sophisticated, beautiful, and exquisite. She floated into the room with a perfectly manicured child clutching her hand. Both were all smiles. Designer heels and bag accented her tailored plum colored dress perfectly. She wore a floppy staw hat with a plum colored sash. Who wears a hat to breakfast in a hotel? I was a stark comparison in my GAP jeans, T-shirt, Mary Janes and bed hair. Honestly, I was just happy to make it down to breakfast with three kids who were at the very least dressed before the the doors closed.
As luck would have it, the stylish woman in purple and her adorable daughter sat at the table next to us. The kids hit it right off and chatted about everything from losing teeth to what books they were currently reading. There amid juice boxes and Fruit Loops, we learned that their family lived in Ukraine and were just passing through on their way to Florida for a vacation. I'm not quite sure why formal introductions were never exchanged, perhaps it had something to do with my squirmy toddler who wouldn't stay in her seat and kept bolting out the door or the bowl of oatmeal that was spilled all over the carpeted floor.
As she was about to leave the breakfast room, she clutched my arm urgently and said, "You really should consider a live-in nanny." She gushed about how much more time I would have to travel, spend with my husband, sleep, and take care of myself.
I replied, "I think I would miss my kids too much".
"Of course you still see your children", she continued, "but you see them when you're at your best".
I thought a lot about our conversation today. Would my children be better off just seeing me at "my best"? Even at my worst, am I setting a good enough example for my children as they gain an understanding of the importance of Motherhood? Sure, Motherhood isn't always glamorous; especially when it includes bodily functions or temper tantrums.
I don't even know her name, but she had a tremendous impact on me. The answer is no, I don't think I would want a full-time live-in nanny. I would miss chubby arms wrapped around my neck whispering secrets into my ear, wonderful sticky kisses, and the 3 a.m. wake-up calls and sweet snuggle time when the rest of the house was quiet and sleeping. I would miss Kaden's contagious laugh when he finds something hilarious in a book that he is reading. I would miss Ava reaching up to me with arms outstreached and saying, "Hold you". I would miss snuggling with Lauren and scratching her back as she drifts off to dreamland. I would miss being a full-time Mommy. So thank you beautiful, elegant, lady. Thank you for bringing me perspective at a stressful time in my life and reminding me of all the reasons why I love being a Mother.
How blessed I am that our Heavenly Father trusts me (ME with all of my imperfections and many faults) to raise three of his sweet Spirits.
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20 comments:
Thanks for your post and I am glad you guys have made it to Germany safely. I think that women sets an unrealistic expectation for her children and I am sure someone will be footing the bill for their therapy in years to come. Nobody can live up to that much perfection. You are doing your kids a favor by showing them reality and life.
i love this...thanks for making me soggy this morning :)
Wasn't that a rude thing to say? This is a great post. I am glad you are so proud of your kids and of being a mommy. I would hate to be married to a woman like her.
You brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for that, Marnie.
I totally thought you were describing you at first!....you are so beautiful and sophisticated, you make Gap jeans, t-shirts and maryjanes with bed hair look chic. I guess it is more the inner person that makes the outer appearance to me.
i love my job to and yes its totaly fine for your kids to see you at your worst best whatever because then they know that its all part of life and not everything has to be perfect all the time, not to mention they see that mummys and daddys make mistakes to. gosh could you imagine those kids thinking that mummy never makes a mistake and always is perfect they would never feel good enuf ugh what a mess.
and think of all those moments she is missing out on as well.
nope i love being a full time mummy mess ups and all.
one of jeremy's bosses told us basically the same thing--"i only feel like a good parent for about an hour and half at a time--that's when we hand them over to the nanny." seriously. way to represent us crazy moms.
I think my jaw would drop to the floor if someone said that to me. It's not a glamorous job, but I'm SO thankful that I am able to stay home and raise my little ones.
And I agree with "Lassy or Melody", you make the "mommy uniform" look chic.
Amen!
Well said.
Amen. Why would we want someone else to experience all those sweet moments and hear about them second hand?
It was fun to read your news, Marni. I love you! Aunt Jan
Marnie, what a touching and inspiring post. I really appreciated that. We are so blessed to understand the powerful gift motherhood is - and the responsibility too. It is certainly something you shouldn't delegate (even though that sounds enticing to us all in the middle of the night or times like that!!) I loved the moments in time you described that make being a fulltime mommy worth it 100 times over. It's sad that there are so many women that don't understand! I LOVE YOU- you are such a beautiful, put together mom - no matter what you wearing! :)
Hi Marnie, Thanks for the beautifully penned words about your fellings about motherhood. Is it trying at times - YES! Is it frustrating - YES! Is it worth every missed minute of sleep, every mess, every dirty diaper - YES! Motherhood is love in the truest and most wonderful sense. It is joy, it is service, it is life! Thanks for showing me that my own experiences with the Sterzer bunch was what it's all about. You're the best and I love you. MOM
What a beautiful way with words! THANK YOU for sharing and for reminding ME how grateful I am for my calling as mother as well. Loke many others before me, I have tears. Tears of appreciation, tears of joy as I relate to you, tears of gratitude as I think of my own exhausting, wonderful life! Thank you my dear wonderful friend!
Thanks for the reminder! I would never get a nanny, but sometimes I wish I had a housekeeper. :)
Thanks for your inspiring words, Marnie! I hope I am a good mom even at my worst. (At least better than a nanny :)
Oh Marnie what a beautiful post! I am too am in the middle of the chaos of moving and feeling a bit frazzled--so I loved this post. Just the thoughts that a Mommy needs to hear and think about sometimes! I love you!
Oh, Marnie. thank you for your sweet insights. I couldn't agree more. But still, sometimes it is motivating to reevaluate motherhood, and remember that even those moments in the middle of the night are precious. We have such an opportunity to mold and teach our children, to love them and be there for them. I wouldn't miss it for the world.
What a special experience. I am going to think of that every time I see a woman dressed beautifully with a fresh pedicure and I find myself wishing I were in her shoes. Besides, most of the time when I get time away from Jack I find myself anxiously awaiting the moment I get back to him. Being a mom is so much better than everything else. :)
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